Don't give up giving up!

I didn't want to jump on the band wagon of Stoptober so waited until it ended. Its my view that you will give up when you want to, not when a month of the year happens to sound right!

I feel we should all be sat in a room together and I stand up and say 'My name is Kirstie and I haven't had a cigarette for 10 weeks'. You, of course, would all clap. Hmmm, it might be 11 weeks actually, can't remember. But anyway I have given up. Finally.

I started smoking when I was 13. I was bullied badly at school and desperately wanted to fit in. Smoking seemed the way to go. In hindsight all that did was make them use me for fags, and still bully me. It was so much easier to get fags back then, cheaper too. Lots of adults I knew smoked so I could always sneak a few from them too. By the time I left school I was a proper smoker.

Fast forward quite a few years and at 28 I found out I pregnant. I gave up straight away and stayed off them for 5 years. But then I returned to my career which was quite stressful and after a few months I was smoking again.

Now the years between age 28 and now (40) have been hellish for me. Even my doctors told me they wouldn't try to talk me into giving up as they could understand that it wasn't the right time for me. Then I get told I have additional medical problems, a suspected tumour at the base of my brain and an extremely high risk of cardiac problems. Whilst they didn't tell me to give up, they did advise that smoking was really bad for me right now. NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!

As with most people, I have tried to give up numerous times since Ecigs have appeared but I've never got on with them. I would use them alongside smoking for a week or so and then forget about them. So this time I tried to figure out why they didn't work for me.

I first tried the ecigs that looked like real cigarettes, cigalikes. When ecigs first appeared that was the only option. I spent a fortune trying out different ones but none worked for me. They just weren't close enough to smoking. I have now discovered that they are renouned for being crap! They do have their benefits though and you need to work out what is best for you. Cigalikes are the easiest ecigs to use, there is no faffing about with liquids and coil changes. However you are unlikely to get the 'hit' you need to make it feel like you are smoking. By 'hit' I mean the feeling of smoking hitting the back of your throat. Maybe if you have only been smoking silk cut then this wouldn't be an issue for you, but for me it was so they just couldn't replace smoking real fags.

So next I moved on to the tank systems. Slightly more complicated but still fairly easy with the added bonus of lots of flavour liquids to use. Again I spent a fortune on buying different makes of these. I usually got bored, stopped using them and then lost bits of them. At this point I was only using menthol liquid as I didn't like the idea of flavours. Different makes offer different levels of 'hit'. Its down to personal preference what you like or dislike. There were a couple that I found ok, but I just couldn't get my head around smoking this big heavy thing that wasn't really anything like a fag. There was no way I was going to use them to replace smoking.

I needed to figure out how to stop. My OH gave up 18 months ago using the tank system ecigs. He still uses one now but with 0% nicotine liquid. He recently bought a new make of ecig which was HUGE. I tried it and it was a definite no go for me. But it did make me realise that was the issue ..... none of the tank systems were the size of real cigarettes and none of the cigalikes gave enough throat hit. I needed to find something in between.

I hit google and researched. An hour or so later I had found what I was looking for ..... but did I really want to spend yet more money on something that might not work?! I decided that it was worth a try ... I had done the thinking, I had done the research, if this didnt work then nothing would. So I bought them.... The Cigma Vape Slim starter pack. The smallest tank system ecig. Only slightly larger than a standard cigarette.

It arrived super quick and I started using it alongside smoking. And OMG it worked! Over 2 or 3 weeks I cut down on the real fags and relied on the Cigma. When I finally stopped the real fags the Cigma was hardly ever out of my mouth! I am much less reliant on it now thankfully. 

Whilst I love my Cigma, its not perfect and it wouldn't be for everyone. Its way too small and delicate for my OH plus he wouldn't have the patience to refill and change the battery more often. I only get the perfect 'hit' if the battery is fully charged but its bearable up to about 1/4 charge. The battery life is good and although the tank is small, its still holds enough. I guess its all subject to how much you use it. 

I can't see me using any other ecig but my Cigma. But what I am getting at is that you need to find your perfect ecig. Don't be disheartened if one, two or more tries fail. I really couldn't begin to count how many I tried. At least 6 or 7 different makes, probably more. Each time you fail, think about why that one didn't work for you. What didn't you like about it? Do you research. Go to a vape shop and try out different brands. You can and will find one which works for you.

I also suggest you think about the liquid you use. I always stuck to menthol. I didn't want tobacco as I would find that too much of a reminder of smoking. I didn't think I would like all the flavours so avoided them, plus I didn't want to waste money on the liquid if I found I didn't like it. Then I accidentally came across an online liquid shop that changed all that. The one pound eliquid shop is fantastic. As the name suggests all the liquids are only £1 each. Delivery is cheap and very quick. There are loads of flavours and they are UK based. Myself and my OH now try out random flavours, if we don't like them we don't mind throwing them away or mixing them with others. My go to flavour now is cherry menthol, but made myself rather than buying the pre mixed one as i find it tastes better. There are some really random flavours as well as the usual ones. Try it, you might find it makes a difference. The sweet flavours make me want to vape rather than smoke ..... bonus!

I hope that helps somebody. Fingers crossed I never go back and I hope you can join me in being smoke free.

TTFN

K

Advice in case you ever need to buy an engagement ring!

My OH and I got engaged in December last year. We went out together to chose a ring. We didn't have much spare cash but knew it had to be something I really liked seeing as I had to wear it for many years. It took a while but we found one I loved at a price we could afford. Here is it ..... and yes, the stones are fake!

Now, I'm the sort of person who never takes her jewelry off. I buy gold or silver (am allergic to anything else) and then wear it until I lose it or I break up with the man its related to! Which leads me to my top piece of advice about choosing an engagement ring ....... Think carefully about what you are going to put that ring through! If you are sensible and take your rings off if you are washing up, doing DIY, moving house etc then its not such an issue for you to get something delicate. However if you are like me and it doesn't occur to you to take it off then you need to buy something a little more sturdy. 

This ring last me 4 months.

It may have lasted slightly longer if 1. I hadn't move house 2. my OH hadn't managed to squash my left hand between the a door and a fridge and 3. I hadn't then let my OH and his granddad try to 'mend' the ring.

After the hand / door / fridge incident (and after the swelling had gone down) I removed the ring to find it looking like this...... 

We couldn't get it straight (or round as the case maybe) with any tools we had at home so my OH asked his granddad if he had any tools which would do it. And off they went to the workshop. After about 30 minutes my OH comes back in looking sheepish. He said the good news was that it was now slightly rounder. But the bad news was this ......

Most of the stones around the edges were gone. SIGH.

I should have taken it back to the shop when it first got bent. Its now just sat in a drawer as a reminder never to let OH and his 97 year old granddad touch my ring again!! 

So a new engagement ring was required. As we had started planning the wedding we thought we would get an engagement ring to match our 'theme'. We are getting married outside in woodland and, at that time, planned to have bark effect wedding rings as a memento of this. So I started to look for an engagement ring with a woodland feel. I found and bought this ...... 

Its not easy to capture on camera but the base is a silver cast of a leaf. In person you can see all its little veins. I thought this purchase through a little more and had more of a budget. Its silver and thicker so is stronger than the previous one. And I am happy to report it has lasted 7 months with no damage.  I still wear it no matter what I am doing .... in fact because of my weight gain, it doesn't come off anyway! 

But thats not the end of my saga, or my advice.

I bought the ring on Etsy. It was listed as an engagement or promise ring. I presumed that meant she made a wedding ring to match it. NEVER PRESUME!! I emailed her last month to ask which of her rings is the wedding ring to go with this one. She kindly took some pics of my ring alongside wedding style bands that she made. It looked horrendous with every one. She could offer me no other options ..... it seems she has never been asked for a wedding ring to go with it.

I spent a while searching Etsy to find rings I thought would match. Due to the thickness of the engagement ring I thought I would need something thin so not to overwhelm my little fingers. Then my sensible head kicks in and says 'why not go and try some rings on in town so you know what looks ok with it'. Great idea! Well, maybe a great idea if I wasn't agoraphobic!!  I did manage to pop in to one shop with the OH and try a few on. NOTHING matches it. I tried all different thicknesses, I tried little patterned ones, I tried everything they had really. It is not a ring that can be worn with another ring. SHIT.

So next bit of advice. Make sure it will look ok next to a wedding ring!

I think I am going to get a wedding ring which is a little elaborate so will look ok on its own. I will then wear my engagement ring on my right hand. That said, I would like my wedding ring to be yellow gold and I would feel uneasy with then having a silver ring on my right hand, so maybe a third engagement ring is in order!!

Either way I am spending HOURS on Etsy each night. Soooooooooo many lovely rings, so few fingers. Oh and my OH has decided he is having a Damascus ring instead of bark effect. It makes sense as its stronger and it looks a lot nicer. However that means I no longer have to worry about finding matching rings so am free to choose what I like ........ this may take some time.

TTFN

K x