Its 1.30am. I've been to bed and got up again. I do this every night. I suffer from insomnia. I also suffer from a few life long mental health disorders and a, currently untreated, thyroid problem .... I have other health problems too but they don't play a part in the insomnia.
Sleeping tablets have very little effect on me. I was once in hospital and I was given 'enough to knock out an elephant' and I was still very much wide awake. Even when we do find one that works, it only takes a few weeks for me to get used to it and the insomnia starts again.
Its sods law that the only thing that does work is the one thing I can't take on a regular basis! As my insomnia is caused by my brain's inability to switch off, Diazapam works for me. It dulls the chattering in my head to a manageable level so I can sleep. However it is addictive and, although I get it on prescription, I'm not meant to use it to sleep. I break the rules and use it maybe once every fortnight just so I get a nights sleep. The downside is that I feel a little like a zombie the next day and can't really do anything before lunch.
I have tried most things to cure this insomnia. Baths, no screens, reading, lavender, mindfulness, hypnosis etc etc etc. Last week I thought maybe I had found my saviour ..... Magnesium. Many people swear by it as an aid to sleeping, it relaxes your mind and body. So I bought some. I got flakes to put in the bath and a spray to use just before bed. The first night was great .... I slept all night. I was soooooooo happy. However that was 4 nights ago and i haven't slept all night since. I am back to my 2 or 3 hours if I'm lucky.
Having mental health problems can be a vicious circle. I get stressed and anxious easily which is why my brain wont switch off. I can be led in bed worrying about something that happened 20 years ago or something that might happen next year. And I can't control it. So it keeps me awake. Lack of sleep makes my mental health worse and so my brain worry's more ..... so it keeps me awake. Getting the idea?!
Because of my thyroid problems and the tests I'm having, I can't try any other medications. Maybe once they sort the thyroid I will be less stressed so sleep might happen again. I doubt it but I like to think positive!
So has anyone got any ideas about what I can try next? And while you're here .... I'm also looking for a cure for night sweats cause when I finally do get to sleep I get them!
Off to try and find something to occupy myself now. Sweet dreams to those that can sleep.
TTFN
K
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